Finding Time
How do we writers find time to plan and query and work on the stuff we WANNA work on, rather than the stuff we HAFTA work on, if those things aren’t always in alignment? I am fortunate in that I am greatly interested in most everything I write about, but what about the projects that exist only in my mind, that need time to develop? I honestly do not know how to pull this off. It’s the old battle cry, “there aren’t enough hours in the day.” Ever since I had the boys, this cliche has become shockingly more true with each passing day.
Last year, before I went back to teaching, I had more time to branch out, to query places and send out letters and emails. But this requires an avalanche of work, and out of the dozen or so queries, I didn’t get a single bite. Most people wrote back, a couple of places I just chalked up to bad timing (shift in personnel, story idea already in the works, etc.), and a couple other places never even acknowledged my query. It’s disheartening, but at the same time, I think partly a function of where publishing is–and isn’t–these days.
I’m at a crossroads with these efforts. It’s the whole “what do I want to do with myself?” question. I have many ideas, almost all of them involve writing, but little time to execute them all or even work hard enough and deeply enough to determine which course to take. I want to promote myself and get business cards and go to more conferences and Be Out There (wherever There is these days) more than I am now. Sometimes I want to stop altogether and totally switch gears, turn the garage into a commercial kitchen and sell cupcakes and scones in the driveway. But can cupcakes really pay the bills?
Most of the good work I’ve come across has been the result of people I know. For this, I’m so grateful. But I work really hard. Mostly, I want to write more essays. In my brain, I’m really an essay writer, making connections among seemingly disparate things, events, ideas, and reaching a new insight or two along the way. I could happily populate my own web site with my essays, but would someone read? And moreover, it would not pay. It does not mean I shouldn’t or wouldn’t write for anything other than money, but at the end of the day when there are bills to be paid and a career to keep going, finding new revenue streams is sometimes really tricky. Most of the best writing gigs I’ve gotten have come from people I know, rather than cold queries. Once upon a time the freelancer marketplace at Mediabistro was helpful. But the last year I had a profile there and paid for it, I did not get a single gig. I want to write cookbooks, too. These seem to be the only things that sell. I want to edit a collection of essays about parenting twins. There are more of us these days than ever before.
I just looked back at that paragraph and realized it was disjointed. Mostly.
In the meantime, I need to go back to the kitchen. More cupcakes……..
